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http://dreamingkathy.blogbus.com/logs/39629205.html

I felt insecure all the time. I thought about too many possibilities. I have too high expectation, which is wrong, as everyone I can think of has told me.

I have a great boyfriend, a wonderful first relationship. But I am so easily confused by other people's talk. I let myself into their bullshit and got so frustrated and doubtful.

My current life is tiring and hard, which has severely influenced my emotional well-being.

I am not perfect at all.

hmmm...I still feel positive. Well, sometimes desperate but most of the time hopeful. I need to cry now and then in order to release the pressure, which is good for me. I wish I could have someone to lean on or hug though.

I got good grades. My school does care about its international students. I've got a paid internship for the summer.

My families love me. My friends care about me and try to help me out. We agree on a wonderful future. Mike and I love each other. I always meet people who are good to me.

So...it's not so bad.

Maybe I do not need to distinguish between fake smile and sincere smile. After all, they are both smile.